Where do I begin?

I have a story to share and am not sure where to start it. Somewhere in themiddle I guess, so here goes.

After about 11 years of marriage, I found myself praying fervently for my husband who had stopped going to church with me about 9 years prior. We went through a very devastating time in our marriage early on and he was very wounded. I, on the other hand, recognized that I was doing a very lousy job of living my life and that I had totally messed things up. I turned to God desperate for His deliverance and recognizing that apart from Him I was lost utterly and completely.

I remember very clearly one day that God spoke a revelatory, what I believed at the time was even a prophetic, word to me as I was reading my Bible. The word came through John 11. It is the story of Lazarus and his death and how Jesus raised him from the dead. Several things stood out to me. Lazarus was sick and his family sent for Jesus. Jesus responded, "This sickness is not unto death but that the son of God would be glorifed". It also says that Jesus loved Martha and her sister and lazarus. Because He loved them, he stayed two more days where He was!

I wrote in my journal that day that I believed God was telling me that my marriage was going to die and that God was going to resurrect it. I did not really understand this but knew that God was speaking. The other part of this story that really stood out to me was that when Jesus did arrive and He raised Lazarus from the dead, Lazarus came out of the grave but he was bound hand and foot with graveclothes. Jesus then turned to those that were with him and said, "loose him and let him go".

Within less than a year my world fell apart. My husband and I were seperated and I was trying to survive without really having a way to provide for my four young children. I was devastated and one of the things that gave me hope was that God had told me this was going to happen, but He had a plan and a purpose in all of it, to save my marriage and to bring Glory to His name!